"the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars."- Jack Kerouac
It’s interesting how Jack wasn’t really the mad person that he claimed was only for him. I was reading something on “On The Road” after I finished reading it and it pointed out something that I was noticing as I was reading: Jack was nowhere near as wild as Neal Cassady (or Dean Moriarty as portrayed in the book). Aside from Allen Ginsberg (Carlo Marx in the book), he was the calmest person in the book. There were lines Jack didn’t cross, like not fucking Neal’s girl just to see how she is around other guys.
Jack marveled at Neal. It was like Neal was a burning angel that Jack couldn’t seem to pull away from. He even said he couldn’t pull away from him. Part of me wonders if Jack looked at Neal like that b/c he wanted to be more like Neal. I know I’ve had this conversation with a friend and we talked about celebrity figures we like. One thing I noticed with most of mine is that they are nothing like me. Mike Tyson, Ray Lewis. Complete opposites of me. Is the reason I liked them so much b/c they possess qualities that I don’t have? It just makes me wonder. I know when it comes to relationship, I want someone that possesses qualities that I may lack in so that way I can be around them, learn from them, & strengthen those areas. Another thought is that Jack didn’t understand Neal & it drove him to try to figure him out more. We’re not as dedicated to things if we already understand them and know how they’re going to work. Whatever reason it was that Jack looked at Neal the way he did, it’s admirable in a way. For him to think of Neal the way he did, even though Neal was a mess of a person, takes a lot of guts. Also could mean you’re dumb as shit, but still brave.